Sarcastic and Drastic
by Neonsocksandglitter
Summary: Today I caught my boyfriend cheating on me, so naturally I escaped to the quidditch pitch for some serious bat-on-bludger therapy. Some precious me time. Just some time to practice my screaming into the night technique, I'm so close to nailing it. Luckily rage-Rose has killer bludger impaling reflexes, it's just a shame those reflexes aren't extended to slimy Slytherins.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Updated/changed most of it, hopefully it's better, or at the very least not worse. I can dream, right? But yeah, second chapter in the works...maybe. Give me another year and we'll see. Hopefully kidding.**

 **Also had mild panic writing this that somewhere I've accidentally spelt brain, brian. So in advance, sorry Brian for all of Rose's shutdowns. Literally so tired I'm losing the plot.**

 **Disclaimer: well obviously I own nothing**

* * *

I swung my beaters bat with all my might, feeling empowered by the sharp slam that reverberated around me as it made contact with the bludger. I was upset. Actually correction; I was angry, and not just the type of angry you get when someone orders the last piece of chocolate cake. More like watch out for that girl because I heard she is 'the Hulk smash' type of mad.

Due to my current emotional state I had decided to sneak out to play quidditch, despite it being 3am on a Tuesday. It was that or murder someone though, and I don't think my dorm mates would have been happy had I chosen the latter. My fists clenched up automatically just thinking about it. That damn fucker. Rodger Wood, my first proper boyfriend. Yet I couldn't picture his face just now, at least not without _hers_ attached to it. Man I needed to hit something, I was seething again and I needed a release, where was that damn bludger.

Whilst frantically scanning the area around me, a bright flash of white caught my eye. If I didn't know any better my guess would be a professor's patronus doing the night time rounds or some shit, but I did know better. Definitely self-induced from earlier in the night, when I was still in the sobbing and screaming portion of the '7 steps to acceptance'. I completely and one hundred percent brought this on myself. What was I thinking.

 _"THIS DAY COULD NOT GET ANY WORSE." I screamed into the night. Just in case I hadn't got my point across, I followed this up with a wail drenched in self pity, just for good measure._

I shuddered. Yep, I was definitely an idiot.

Do I have time to hide?

"Think fast Rose, think fast." I murmured to myself.

"Well well well, what do we have here?"

FREEZE. You'll blend in. He'll realise he was talking to no one (what an idiot) and leave.

In case you were keeping score, think fast Rose is also an idiot.

Cue incoming bludger.

"AHHHHH!" I yelled, practicing my battle cry for the second time that night.

She may be an idiot, but think fast Rose has killer bludger impaling reflexes, it's just a shame those reflexes aren't extended to hiding from shit brain Slytherins.

"Woah Weasley, that was some swing. What's got your wand in a knot?"

I glanced down, catching a glimpse of his infamous 'amused but I'm still better than you' smirk. Huh. Was it just the seven steps talking or could I play this to my advantage? Slytherin, check. On the quidditch team, check. Have I just been presented my perfect revenge on a plate?

Woah woah woah brain, calm down. He may be quite - HA - try very, attractive, but we hate him! But we hate _him_ more right now, much more.

Realising I hadn't spoken in a borderline scary amount of time, instead just staring into the distance with what I'm sure can only be described as crazy wide, demon killer eyes, whilst hyperventilating, I shook my head as if this would shake those ludicrous thoughts from my brain, and looked at Malfoy properly.

"Go away Malfoy, unless you want me to fling my bat at you so hard they'll have to scrape you off the pitch." _Want to hook up?_ Shut UP brain.

"Yeesh, you have your claws out today Weaselbee, and I have to say, I am mildly turned on."

See what I mean? Insufferable, sexy motherfudger.

For once my facial muscles not being connected to my brain worked in my favour, and judging by his change in demeanor I must have looked severely un-amused. He started to back off with his hands in the air. Then a weird thing happened, mixing it up from all the other normal nights happenings. Man, am I sarcastic bitch. Anyway, back to the point; his face contorted like I've never seen before, he looked almost scared.

"Weasssss-," he screeched, the second part of my name squealed in a pitch only dogs could hear.

Then everything sort of happened really fast, Malfoy leapt onto his broom, did he always have that with him by the way? And angled it towards me at full speed, I was only a few metres away from him so as I'm sure you can imagine this was incredibly startling. I felt his hands reach out and yank at my waist just as something hurtled past the top of my head, then we were falling. His arms engulfed me as we fell the 3 or so metres towards the ground, landing with a thud. My heavy breathing was the only thing I could hear, or was that Malfoy's I wondered, as my body was wedged between his and the damp grass. I could feel my heartbeat against his chest which was rising and falling heavier and faster than normal. I felt his arms tighten around me as his ragged breaths tingled against my cheek, all the while his face was buried in my hair.

After the shock of what had just happened wore off it dawned upon me that this was damn uncomfortable. Malfoy was one muscle-y lump, meaning he weighed a tonne and was not pillow-like in the slightest. I tried to wiggle free from under him but he was still seemingly clutching me as if his life depended on it. Boys.

I coughed.

Nothing.

I coughed again.

"Ugh Malfoy, get the hell off me."

He grunted before lifting his head from where it had been buried in a mass of my curly red locks.

"I only bloody saved your life Weasley, no need to thank me or anything."

Still, he moved off. He sat up, but remained far too close for my liking. Having said that though, he could be at the other end of the pitch and it would still be too close.

I felt something wet roll down my cheek. Oh for crying out loud. Literally.

"Why are you crying?" he almost yelled, trying to keep the worry out of his voice yet failing terribly; he sounded like he was having a fit.

Why was I crying? That was a good question. Not only had I been cheated on today, and quite badly at that, I had also nearly been killed by an illegal (bit extreme but hey, I had a flair for dramatics if that wasn't already obvious) bludger of my own doing, and to top it all off I had been saved by someone who was meant to thoroughly enjoy my pain. I now owe my long term enemy a favour, and I'm guessing letting him have the last piece of pie wouldn't cut it. Now if that isn't a good enough reason to cry I don't know what is.

He moved uncomfortably until we were knee to knee.

"Al told me what happened today with Wood, you shouldn't cry over him Weasley."

More tears.

"There...there?" He patted my arm.

More tears, followed by what could only be described as a strangled sob.

Crickets on his end. Oh hell.

Stop crying stop crying stop it stop it stop it.

I hiccuped.

"You have mud all down your face you know."

I think I am the first person ever to hiccup, cry and spit out a tiny laugh all in one go. Oh my Merlin I've invented a new noise, maybe they will name it after me.

I smiled/grimaced at the ground.

"Fuck you Malfoy." I attempted weakly.

What else could I say? I'd just displayed more emotions in the last five minutes than I have ever seen on him in the entire 6 years we'd known each other. But Malfoy is a teaspoon when it came to emotion I reasoned, he has two levels; cocky and double cocky with extra oozy cockiness on the side. UGH. I am basically walking (sitting), talking (if a soggy hiccup counts) ammunition on a plate. I wasn't ready to have a conversation. I needed time to plan how to take the proverbial bullet Malfoy was no doubt eager to shoot. I couldn't leave, this guy had just saved my life, or at least saved me from a horrible headache. So I did what I always do in uncomfortable situations; I fidgeted, yanking grass from the roots with my already grubby fingers, the last few straggler tears escaping down my cheeks.

Then Malfoy said the last thing I expected. Well actually, the last thing I would have expected would be, 'My mother is a toad and at Sunday dinners at the manor we all sit round eating flies.' So not the last thing I expected, but pretty darn close.

"See? I knew fiesty Weasley was still in there."

Holy shit. His voice was silky smooth, and oh so soft. If his voice was a hug, it would be the warmest, cuddliest hug, with just the right amount of squeeze to being-able-to-breathe ratio.

I mumbled a 'yeah' in response, wiping away the last of the snotty tears. I know right? How appealing am I? Then my mouth walked off without my brain.

"It just makes me so angry thinking about it you know?"

What? Great Rose. As if you hadn't already given the jerk enough piss taking material to last a lifetime. _The jerk that was still here._ SHUT UP BRAIN.

I moved to throw my handful of grass, however at the exact same moment the wind picked up and it all blew back into my face. Just perfect. Malfoy, given the current situation, was doing his best not to laugh but I could see it all over his face. I guess I must have looked pretty silly what with dirt streaked across my face, and grass in my hair. Oh and a piece hanging out my left nostril.

I guess it was kind of funny.

Once the first laugh bubbled out of me, I found it difficult to stop. We sat there giggling, which was weird in itself. Oh if only Al could see me now, he'd have a heart attack. And he'd probably tell me to sort myself out.

After a good few minutes, the laughter died down, and I had pulled most of the grass out of my hair and nose.

"Are you okay?"

It was Malfoy's turn to fidget in this awkward attempt to be nice.

I thought for a moment. It hurt for sure, the raw wound would take a lot of licking to heal. _Perhaps Malfoy could help out on that front._ If my brain had eyebrows, they would most definitely be wiggling. I think, deep down, I knew I was going to be okay though, and that was a good start.

"I guess. It kind of sucks though."

"Did you love him?"

I looked up at his question, I could feel equal parts surprised and sadness written all over my face. Right half sad, left surprised.

I shrugged.

"Maybe."

That was something I had been pondering lately. Love was a big word, something that never really goes away and once said that's it, there's no going back, at least that's what my parents say. According to Amelia, a girl in my dorm, love was circumstantial and fleeting; you can be completely and utterly head over heels one moment, and the next you're ogling the Ravenclaw keeper's 'firm but juicy' butt. Her words. I think I prefer my parents' definition, however did that mean I was always going to 'feel' for Roger? I hope not.

We sat in silence in the few minutes that followed, and I became increasingly aware of his presence; it was 3am last time I checked my watch, now probably nearer to 4am. The sun was almost coming up and yet here I sat, welcoming in the new day with my sworn enemy. Why was he here? And why wasn't Al? He was my best friend, he knew me better than anyone and yet here I was sharing the worst moment of my young life with my bloody Malfoy of all people. The worst person possible to see me in this state just so happened to be strolling past the quidditch pitch at 3am on a school night. Suspicious. I could feel the anger bubbling up again. It really doesn't take much to rile me up does it.

"What are you doing here Malfoy?" I snapped.

"Al was worried about you, he-"

"Yeah? Well did Al know I was out here?"

"He - er, he...shit"

"What are you doing out here Malfoy?"

"I was on my way back from the kitchens when I heard a scream."

He ruffled his hair awkwardly. _What I wouldn't kill to be that hand right now._ SERIOUSLY brain, this is your last chance.

"So what? You sprinted over to save the day?" I mocked.

This was greeted instantly by an indignant 'no' followed up with a lame, "I, er, flew." His uncertainty making it sound more like a question than a statement.

Commence eyebrows raising to full capacity. I wonder what I looked like with eyebrows surpassing my hairline, bloodshot eyes, and a puffy red face. Note to self: pull this exact face in mirror later to assess how far we need to go for damage control.

"Okay," I murmured awkwardly, "consider myself 'saved'." I even used air quotes. WHY.

"Well isn't that convincing."

Silence ensued. He was probably scrambling for a way out of our current situation. I, on the other hand, was contemplating my identity as sarcastic bitch, and how to stop Malfoy stealing my crown. Sarcasm was a slippery slope, once you start it's impossible to stop.

"You're shit at lying by the way."

What?

"Take it from the master," he continued, "for example, Professor McGonagall has no idea that I have been using a disillusionment charm to sleep through her classes."

WHAT?

"You sleep through her classes?!" My voice reaching an entirely new decibel. I should remember that for my singing career.

He shrugged.

"But her techniques and ability to manipulate the human form are legendary, those classes are like gold dust you have no idea how lucky you are she is even still teaching here you should consider it an honour and—oh my Merlin that is so not the point."

Cursing inwardly at my marvelous ability to roam off topic in the most crucial of conversations. I took a deep breath.

"Why is that relevant?"

"It's not, I just wanted to rub your face in my immense charms skills."

Dick. _Ooh-_ DON'T even go there brain.

"What I meant to say is that I know you don't give a toss if I'm okay Malfoy. We both barely tolerate each other as it is so why don't you do us both a favour and march off back to your slimy smelly snake pit, and go tell my cousin I've never been better."

He smirked.

After all of that he fucking smirked, man was he going to get it. I lunged forward to smack his arm but he was quicker, catching my hand. His smirk grew.

"What with all that crying I thought maybe you'd gone soft on me Red. You say you're angry right? Well I recommend revenge as the best medicine."

My steely gaze didn't falter but even I couldn't stop an inquisitive eyebrow raise.

"He cheated on you right?"

More smirking.

I nodded.

"Well it's simple then, you have to move on." He stated, as if was as simple as picking a breakfast food. Which now that I think about it isn't always as easy as it may seem; eggs, pastries or cereal, the daily qualms of modern life.

Uh-oh, something tells me I've reached capacity for suppressing my sarcastic remarks.

"OHH," I made a wild gesture with my arms, "okay why didn't you just say so? Here I was thinking I would have to learn how to grow wings whilst simultaneously drop kicking Wood in the balls."

Realising the double entendre I stifled a little girlish, squeaky-ass giggle, completely compromising my leg up in our battle of wits.

"Oh funny Red," he replied straight faced, "but seriously, what is the single worst thing that could happen after a bloke chucks his bird? She holds her head up high and finds a new supplier of meat."

I made a face to show my displeasure at his ability to phrase a normal sentence in the most disturbingly crude way possible, but I guess he did have a point.

"C'mon, it's worth a shot, plus it'll drive him mad, and sooner or later he'll be begging you for another shot."

After a minute or so I looked up at him, the evil glint in his eye as apparent as ever.

"I don't want him back though."

"That is exactly my point. Merlin for the smartest witch in our year, you sure can be an idiot."

"Then there can't be much hope for the rest of you," I grumbled.

He looked bemused, if a smirk has the ability to look anything other than smarmy, but continued nonetheless, "my point is Red, you wouldn't be doing this to get him back. You would be doing this to get even."

Man I swear the more evil this boy gets, the prouder he looks with himself. Well evil in a 'stomp on people's hearts without care or abandon' way, not in a 'murdering everyone who isn't a pureblood' way. It's awful that I felt the need to stipulate that, even if only in my head.

I considered what he was saying all the same though; sure I hated what Wood had done and any pain I could inflict, whether physical or mental, he probably deserved, however I had never been very good at revenge. I wasn't a pushover by any means, but I was a great believer in what will be, will be, and somehow this tiny inkling of a plan to 'get me some' seemed to be tempting fate, and not in my favour. I didn't feel heartbroken either I noticed, although the wound was still fresh my ability to be objective made me realise that maybe I didn't care as much as I originally thought. We had only been together two months, and yes he had been my first real boyfriend but there had always been something that had felt a bit off. I chalked it down to the fact I wasn't used to someone taking up all my free time. Maybe this wasn't an opening for me to 'get my own back' but rather to regain my me-ness, anything I felt had taken a backseat over the couple of few months.

"I think I'm going to let things just play out and take it from there," I hesitated briefly, realising with utter horror the words that were forming in my mouth, "but thanks Malfoy. For your ridiculous plan, but also for being weirdly nice, even if it is mega creepy."

"Well what can I say? I'm wearing extra bitch repellent today which helps," he chuckled lightly as I batted his arm once again. If he was startled at my statement he didn't let on.

"Do you want to head back to the castle? If we hurry I reckon we could get two good hours of sleep before breakfast."

He stood up then and offered me his hand. I raised my eyebrows, but suddenly realising how tired I was didn't protest. He didn't even make a joke about me needing to lay off the doughnuts. Weird day.

We fell into pace, walking back in a so far amicable silence.

"So tell me Weasley, why was my idea _so_ ridiculous?"

I snorted then, like full on donkey style. Merlin I need to work on reigning it in. Hoping he hadn't noticed my animal-esque outburst I replied,

"It took me all this time to get a guy to look at me in any way other than 'bitch with brains,' and let's be honest Roger Wood isn't exactly a looker. What makes you think I could bag another right away?"

"You're mad Rose Weasley," he replied smiling and shaking his head, "and Roger Wood is a fucking idiot."

I looked up at him, he was staring forwards, avoiding eye contact, however if I wasn't mistaken there was no sign of a smirk on his awful, but gorgeous face. I shook it off.

We walked the rest of the way in a comfortable silence. Well, as comfortable as you could get for two enemies who were tip-toeing dangerously on a blurred line of a weird, slightly forced friendship, and at 4am on the morning after I broke up with my boyfriend. AHHHH.

If I didn't know myself any better I would definitely call scandalous. Don't be daft brain. It's Scorpius Malfoy. The only intimate moment you both will share is when you pantsed him back in second year in front of your whole family. Hah I really hated him back then.

WHAT.

And now. I totally meant and now. I haaate him. Totally not convincing, brain. Gosh don't you hate that things you think once by accident are completely set in stone? You had one conversation, in which he was weirdly excited about you getting revenge on your ex, and overall it didn't go awfully, though it was hardly ground breaking. You've spent a long time and a lot of thought and hard work building your hatred towards Scorpius Malfoy, that type of thing does not just disappear overnight. Especially not exactly 12 hours after your first ever relationship ended.

...Hated.

Dammit.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up with my face smushed into the pillow, to Alice Longbottom unceremoniously wafting my duvet up and down creating a very unfavourable breeze.

"Get!"

*Waft*

"Up!"

*Waft*

"You lazy-"

*Waft*

"Arse!"

"Piss off, Longbottom," the gremlin murmured from her lair. Yes, that's right I can self-deprecate as well as the next witch.

This was received with a 'suit yourself' sigh and a sing-song, "you're going to miss Potions."

Then she was gone. Skipped right out of the dorm as if she hadn't just said the six words that she knew would send me into a major freak out. She was learning. I smirked to myself for approximately a millisecond before I flew out of bed and into the bathroom. Pretty sure I left one of those wiggly cartoon lines behind me I moved so fast.

Five minutes later I was out and running towards my first class of the day. I'm going to be kind to myself now, I've had a very trying twenty-four hours. However my mirror apparently hadn't got the memo, there was only one way to put it; I looked like shit. My eyes were bloodshot and puffy, they felt heavy with the remnants of yesterday's mascara. My hair looked suitably backcombed for a 90s music video. Ooh, I could claim ironic fashion statement. I am totally going to be the girl who brings the beehive back. This self-congratulations lasted all of 30 seconds until I caught my reflection in a window.

Seriously though, I was asleep for a maximum of half an hour and in that time my hair went from moderately presentable to 'haven't showered in weeks _and_ spent the night asleep in a bush'. Today sucks with a capital S already.

 _Do you know what else starts with a capital S?_

…

…

 _You could make a pair._

…

Oh my Merlin, someone called a St Mungo's, my brain is broken, I need a new one.

I got one or two (ok 42, but who's counting) weird looks on my frantic mission to get to Potions on time. Maybe it was due to my appearance but I suspect many glances were attributed to the weird grunts my body was emitting in protest to this surprise early morning marathon. Two broken statues, one nasty bruise, and four crying first years (a personal record, feel free to applause) later I had finally arrived. Fumbling the door handle, swearing as I went, I pushed the door open, and I guess if I had to pick one, this exact moment in my life would be the most akin to walking into the heart of the Acromantula nest. Actually, scrap that. In that situation I'm sure it would feel like I'd have less eyes on me. But I'd probably be a bit more terrified considering, you know, imminent death and all. Side note: I'd like to add that this is just a figure of speech, my classmates hadn't actually developed hundreds of extra eyes overnight, I'm just being dramatic. Go figure.

Let's start with the best of a bad bunch shall we.

The she-devil herself; Amelia Shacklebolt.

Upon my entering the classroom her gaze straight away fell to my face, taking time to note my frizzy barnet and bloodshot eyes. She was waggling her eyebrows at me. Her perfectly tweezed eyebrows that sat on her perfectly made up face, her blonde locks falling in soft ringlets with not a hair out of place. A good few seconds of silently seething about Miss Prissy Perfect later, when I snapped back to reality, I noticed she was still performing major eyebrow gymnastics. Oh. My. Merlin. No way. She couldn't possibly think that- no that's just too outrageous. She caught my eye and winked at me. NO. She thinks I was out with a boy. I guess that would be a concrete conclusion considering we are in the same dorm room and I didn't arrive back until the early hours of the morning, but doesn't she know me at all?

Note to self: stop Amelia before she tells the entire school I was out all night. I know her words would only be speculation but I can assure you that not five minutes after she spills the 'hot off the press news' someone, probably Hugo, will have written home to my father that I spent the night at an orgy, completely off my face and I'd probably, if the rumour mill is anything that it used to be, be pregnant just to top it off.

Second place for the 'worst look one could possibly be on the receiving end of' award goes to, you guessed it, Scorpius Malfoy. It was evident now, that last night I had been out of my mind to think, even for a second, that he was anything other than my mortal enemy, and I'll tell you why. That cocky son of a bitch was smiling at me. I know! The nerve of it! It gets worse though, not only did he smile for approximately half a second, he also raised his eyebrows as if to say, "I take it you did not get those few hours of sleep we talked about?"

 _Well what do you think? A fairy came and magic-ed all bad thoughts out of my head?_ _Prick._

 _Great internal come back, Rose. That told him._

Back in the real world however, I wasn't quite so smooth. Sighing loudly, I deepened my frown and turned my gaze to the front of the room, towards my _usual_ seat.

And I stress the word usual because guess fucking what.

The winner stare. The stupid mother fudging beady eyed stare. Coming from the one, the only, Roger fucking Wood. This look knocks all others out of the park. It was savage. Like the Wolverine on a rampage savage. Pure pity falling over all of his features. Pity. WHAT?! I'm going to be honest with you that this knocked me for six, which is saying a lot. I have a pretty strong constitution but this one look somehow compiled the last 24 hours and all its happenings into one bitesize piece, and there was nothing I could do except stand there and swallow it whole.

But don't get me wrong, that didn't mean I wasn't ready to tear him a new one also. I can multitask.

Unfortunately for myself, the onlookers, and the Hogwarts gossip chain, my brain was still recovering from the thousand mile sprint. As I stepped forward ready to unleash hell, hair swirling angrily, feet stomping dangerously, I opened my mouth, and I kid you not, all I managed was a feeble "eeep."

LIKE A SHITTING BIRD.

I cheeped at my scumbag ex-boyfriend. In front of the entire class. I'm just going to let that settle in.

Admitting defeat, despite seething so hard I was sure I had turned beet red, I slid into the nearest seat, whilst all my classmates seemed to get over their shock and began the hysterically laughing portion of the lesson. Slamming my head onto the desk and letting out the world's biggest groan, I conceded that maybe today just wasn't my day.

 _Okay universe, give me your best shot._

* * *

I had had it with today, I had had it with this week and I had had it with being a sad case. Maybe Malfoy was right. Perhaps I did just need to 'get even', show him I didn't care. Because I didn't. I don't. A few nearby first years cowered, I guess I must have said this last part out loud, and if we're being honest, in this case 'said' definitely means growled.

I'm not sure if you could tell already, but my week did not improve after what has now been nicknamed the 'Tweety-pie' incident. I will take some of the blame though, I guess walking around like a zombie in a blind rage isn't exactly inciting good karma.

The second disaster happened the same day as 'the noise that will not be named'; I set my own hair on fire in Charms. I know what you're thinking; Rose I know the beehive situation was a work in progress but surely that's a bit extreme.

Amelia's rumour surfaced a few days later, and yes, it was ridiculous. Apparently I had a late night tussle behind the greenhouse with a grindylow. I don't know what the poor grindylow did to get mixed up in my mess, especially because they're a water species. I mean, if you're going to make up a weird fetish hook up story, at least make it factual, although I will give her points for creativity.

'Tweety Pie' and 'Grindylow Girl' echoed wherever I went, often said in whispers and fits of giggles. I honestly don't know if I'll ever be able to shake them. I wonder if my parents would consider a transfer to Beauxbatons.

As it turns out that wasn't even half of what was in store for me over the following days. I misplaced not one, not two, but three essays, that I'd spent weeks working on, and I had a tussle with a trick step that resulted in me being stuck for 3 hours. This meant missing dinner, quidditch practice and to top it all off, I got detention for being out beyond curfew.

This week sucked balls.

Friday evening. I was exhausted and fed up. And craving mash potato.

I stomped into the Great Hall, pausing to assess the situation. Wood was mid-way down the Slytherin table, he looked up as I entered, Merlin knows why. Amelia was sat on the opposite side of the hall surrounded by equally annoying, gossiping, giggling idiots. One of them spotted me and pointed, the rest of their gazes followed the finger I was tempted to break.

 _Ugh. Fuck them and their fake ass rumours. You should give them something real to talk about._

 _Aha. I spy the perfect solution._

Now in hindsight, I regret this decision. Well sort of. However in the moment, there was no stopping me. I was a dangerous woman on a mission.

I marched down towards far end of the hall, between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables, right past where Wood was sat, past several family members who also seem to have noticed me (as had everyone might I add).

I wouldn't have been surprised if I was running by this point, I was almost there, and by Merlin I was determined. The poor boy realised a little too late what was happening as I collided with him, pushing both of us back a few paces. I didn't waste any time worrying about my footing though, I just reached my arms up around his neck, pulled his head down to mine and planted my lips firmly on those of Scorpius Malfoy's. Tilting my head up to achieve optimum contact I noticed that his hands, which were originally hanging by his side, had snaked their way around my waist. Pulling me closer so that our mid-drifts were most definitely touching. My back curved as I leant more into it, I was able to deepen the kiss, sticking my tongue in his mouth. I had to make it look realistic after all. Make no mistake, this was purely business motivated. I was not under any circumstances doing cartwheels on the inside, nor did I have a major case of butterflies. No pleasure was being received by me, from him.

….

BIG. FAT. LIE.

I actually thought I'd combust on the spot. Merlin, please help me resist eating his face off.

* * *

 **A/N: I haven't written anything in a while - please don't hate it!**

 **Disclaimer: Obviously nothing you see above is mine.**


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